Monday's Motivation
March 31, 2008
Positive Reinforcement

In psychology, we spend a lot of time studying rats. Why? One, because we can do things to rats that we can't to humans. Two, rat behavior is close enough to humans to learn something about ourselves in the process. For example, if we want a rat to jump through a hoop, initially we reward them with a tasty treat every time they do it. If we want the rat to stop, all we do is stop giving the treat. However, if instead of stopping the reward altogether we reward them on average for every 50 hoop jumps, then even when the treats are discontinued, the rat will continue to jump through the hoop for quite a while. Why? Because the rat has learned that it takes a lot of jumping to get the reward and he doesn't know when the next jump might be the one. Ok, sounds like a good way to train rats, but don't believe it will ever work on humans. Wrong. Las Vegas has built an empire on this simple, yet powerful system. Think about it. A person sits down at a slot machine, puts some money in, presses a button, watches the lights blink, and every so often receives a reward. People will do this for hours and hours or even days. Both of these examples rely on a behavioral modification system called positive reinforcement. It is a method used to increase the frequency of a desired behavior and is best done by associating the desired action with a pleasant consequence. In order to make positive reinforcement work, the reward (tasty treat or money) needs to follow the desired behavior (hoop jumps or putting money in the machine) as quickly as possible and be significant enough to be noticed. Initially, to strengthen the connection, it is more effective to issue a reward every time. However, once the connection is established, it can be strengthened by decreasing the frequency of the reward and by randomizing when it is given (like slot machines). Positive reinforcement is an amazing tool that has an almost unlimited number of applications. It can be used to improve workplaces, change children's' behavior, improve academic performance, improve military training effectiveness and thousands of others. The wonderful thing is, positive reinforcement is a relatively simple tool to learn to use to make good changes in our own lives. For example by setting up simple reward systems (going to movies, getting a massage or other goodies) for desired behavior (exercise, getting up on time, driving safely etc.) we can actually influence ourselves to behave more as we would wish. Another great thing about positive reinforcement is that it generally creates an association of positive regard between the reward giver and receiver. Take a moment ant think about your own life and those around you. What behaviors do you see that need to be improved? How can you employ this to make those changes happen? Have a great week!

Dr. Don Kopf- a licensed psychologist working with individuals and organizations to help them grow, learn and change for the better. Do you enjoy Monday's Motivation each week? Share it with others. Simply send a request to Dr. Kopf so that he may add their name to his weekly list: DrKopf@DrKopf.com or call (808) 375-1177. Copyright Dr. Donald Kopf 2008. If for any reason, you would like to be removed from this weekly mailing, please email me directly and I'll remove you immediately- no questions or hassles.

Monday's Motivation
March 24, 2008
Hesitation

A few years back, I went back to my home town and took a visit to my old high school. While I recalled many wonderful times, I also remember times of sadness and regret. As I thought about it, I realized that many centered on instances when I allowed my teen-age fears to get the best of me. I think of the girl I wanted to ask out, or the election I wanted to run in or the contest I wanted to enter, but didn't and wish I had. I remember one situation in particular. A couple of my classmates and I had jumped on the school's fan bus to go to an out-of-town football game on a Friday night. It was a long drive and there wasn't much to do except talk and goof around. On the bus, I met a really neat girl who was just about the cutest thing I had ever seen. We ended up sitting together at the game and continued to talk together. It was a cold, clear October night and the wind blew steadily throughout the game. We were both chilled, but it didn't really matter. Her smile had a way of taking the edge off of the cold. On the bus ride home, I unfortunately didn't get to sit with her, but I very much wanted to see her again. The whole ride home, I tried to think of a tactful way to ask her for her phone number. As we drew closer to home, I began to panic because I hadn't thought of how to ask her. My fear got the best of me and being the typical thirteen year old male social idiot that I was at that time, I froze and let the opportunity pass. After exiting the bus, she climbed into her parents' waiting car and I never saw her again. Looking back now, I realize how foolish it was to hesitate in not only this instance but many others. Now as an adult with much more experience under my belt, you'd think I would have learned a few things. Despite this, I still find situations where I hesitate when I know I shouldn't. Should I buy the house I really want? Should I ask for a raise? Should I go out on my own and try to start a business? Should I risk my savings on an investment? Should I ask her to marry me? Should I run for office? Should I accept the nomination? Though the circumstances have changed, the feelings have not. I now wonder: In 20 years will I have the same perspective on these events as I now do my high school career? Mark Twain put it this way: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." What about you? What opportunities are you hesitating to act upon? How will your perspective change on the situation after 20 years have passed? Have a great week!

Dr. Don Kopf- a licensed psychologist working with individuals and organizations to help them grow, learn and change for the better. Do you enjoy Monday's Motivation each week? Share it with others. Simply send a request to Dr. Kopf so that he may add their name to his weekly list: DrKopf@DrKopf.com or call (808) 375-1177. Copyright Dr. Donald Kopf 2008. If for any reason, you would like to be removed from this weekly mailing, please email me directly and I'll remove you immediately- no questions or hassles.

Monday's Motivation
Feb 11, 2008
Finding a Direction in Life

I've worked with many folks who seem to be lost in their careers and lives. They go from day to day without any real sense or where they are going or why they are doing what they do. Sometimes they feel that they aren't really living but simply going through the motions. While they may be financially successful professionals, business owners or technicians, they have no real passion for their work. Interestingly, many people have the belief that others have life figured out and are much happier than themselves. In reality, many put up a convincing facade for the rest of the world while hiding their own emptiness. It's no wonder that this is the state of things. After all, how many of us are given life instruction manuals at birth that tell us how to figure out a direction or what to expect from life. I certainly didn't get one of these manuals. Did you? Fortunately, finding a direction need not be too hard. It is simply a matter of taking the time to get to know and understand ourselves better. Self exploration enables us to learn what it is that naturally interests us and drives us. By simply knowing more about our own gifts and the talents we enjoy using most we gain a fairly strong sense of the direction we might enjoy following. The rewards for having a direction based on our intrinsic abilities are immense. We may experience what some researchers have termed flow: getting completely absorbed into an activity that demands a high degree of skill and ability. What are your likes, dislikes, passions, interests, skills, talents, weaknesses and dreams? Answer these and you will know what direction to go. If you can't answer these, chances are you are one of the folks stuck going through the motions of life. "Some men throw their gifts away on a life of mediocrity, great men throw everything they have into their gifts and achieve a life of success." Greg Werner Have a great week!

Dr. Don Kopf- a licensed psychologist working with individuals and organizations to help them grow, learn and change for the better. Do you enjoy Monday's Motivation each week? Share it with others. Simply send a request to Dr. Kopf so that he may add their name to his weekly list: DrKopf@DrKopf.com or call (808) 375-1177. Copyright Dr. Donald Kopf 2008. If for any reason, you would like to be removed from this weekly mailing, please email me directly and I'll remove you immediately- no questions or hassles.